Drama and Democracy

First, the drama.

Last night, I was watching "Monster House" on the Discovery Channel. You should watch that and "American Chopper" at least once in your life.

"Monster House" is all about remodeling a person's house in a larger-than-life way. Teams of builders are selected to complete a mission in less than a week's time and if they get everything done, the team receives expensive tool kits as a prize. It's pretty sweet. Last night the team was a set of design undergrads remodeling a loft. During the show, however, I was totally stumped by a certain member of the team who happened to be a total jackass. Every time the host, Steve (a contractor himself, with years of experience), made a helpful suggestion about how to finish a project correctly the first time (these folks had made a lot of "measure twice, cut once" mistakes), this one guy said, "You know, I just think that's the drama way to do things."

Does anyone know what the hell that means? I mean really. I will accept comments that may be able to expound on this jackass' behavior or shed light on the phrase.

Onto democracy.

I find democracy is something many of us are missing these days. The word gets bandied about, but we don't get much hands-on experience.

Ralph Nader, a guy who more people should have had the chance to vote for last November, has a new website out, called Democracy Rising. It's a good way to get facts and info about the war in Iraq. Some examples:

1) Was the election that recently happened at all democratic?

2) Is it really so democratic that craploads of our tax dollars that could be spent on schools and jobs are sent overseas to kill civilians?

The site deserves visiting and spreading.

Math Is Hard... My Ass!

Once upon a time Barbie had an electronic-speaking doll that excalimed, "Math is hard! Let's go shopping!"

Remember how the jackasses at Mattel had to recall the doll and change it because it was sexist crap? Well, if you've ever thought that women sure have come a long way, and oppression is in the past, read this article here:

Sexism Masquerading As Science

Then go out and kick a sexist's ass--mathematically!

By Any Means Necessary

Don't be a jackass--celebrate Black History Month. Do it by reading this article and sharing it with a friend!

BAMN!

Me & Crystal Meth

My sister, Lethal, is feeling ill. I offered to embark on a mission of mercy to Walgreens so I could purchase various cold and sinus medications for her. True to my word, I did this. I chose four different products and proceeded to the checkout. The checkout was where I became the very source of controversy.

"You're buying too much cold medication," the checker told me.

Really? I didn't realize you could ever buy too much. I mean, really. And who the hell is Walgreens to tell me what I can and cannot do? The checker carried on a hushed conversation with another employee and then told me, again, I was buying too much and I needed to visit the pharmacy to buy more. So, I followed her to said apothecary.

It was there the good pill-distributor demanded to know why I was trying to purchase so much cold medication. I wanted to say, "Because this shit never works like it claims." Instead, I patiently explained it was for my suffering sister, who was suffering at that very moment, by the way. "Well," the pharmacist (pill pusher) interrogated, "don't you know that this much ephedrine is used to manufacture crystal meth illegally?"

Well, damn. No I did not. I've never thought about crystal meth production before and all the possibilities it could hold for my life, but I am powerfully curious now. Here is a link to an especially helpful website I found:

Julia Child's Meth Recipes & More

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here, but those are on the website itself. Honestly, though, if nobody had ever tried to prevent me from buying cold medication, it never would have occurred to me. Jackasses.

Embracing My Inner Jackass

It has come time to admit that in order for me to suss out jackasses and all things jackass-like, I must have the ability to come clean about the jackass nature within myself.

I have a creepy and unhealthy obsession with the "musician" Avril Lavigne.

This obsession goes beyond buying magazines with interviews so I can read them out loud with friends and mock her.

I have been known to sit through entire videos and live performances. She's like a car crash happening in front of my eyes: I don't want to look and see the unfolding horror of impacting vehicles or hear the frightening, unholy sounds of screeching and crunching metal on metal, but I feel compelled to do so--if only to bear witness to the brutality, to help file a report of culpability when the police come calling.

Let me be clear: I don't own any of her music. I will not listen to it on the radio. Her entire catalog is a crude attempt at ripping-off other, better songs that came way before her time. Her voice is a screaming cry for help no one should answer.

But if I see her on the TV, though, it's an entirely different story. She's like a modern-day Circe, enchanting me, forcing me to watch her and to forget all common-sense, decency, standards and taste.

I need help. And if admitting I need help makes me a jackass, then I am. It shall be the contradiction of this Blog.

Word Usage

Frankly, I'm a hardass about words and their uses. It's a political thing. Not a PC thing. A political thing. The phrase "Politically Correct" is for jackasses and I don't care much for it. That being said, however, we do need to recognize that oppression in society reflects itself in myriad ways, one of them being language and accepted uses. Epithets don't materialize from thin air--only jackasses think that--they have palpable connections to racism, sexism and homophobia.

This is, in effect, a response to my first posted comment from "anonymous." And I must be honest with you, my reading audience (whoever you are), the comment was a plant. Yes, it's true. I saw it posted on another person's Blog and I made someone I know post it here for the sole purpose that I could write a response. You may call that asinine, but I call it better planning than you are used to seeing. My comments here are solely regarding use of the word "gay," but translate to many other words, especially epithets that are now in common use (i.s. "bitch").

It pisses me off when people want to say something is stupid or they don't like it or whatever and they say, "That is so gay." Does the commentator really mean, for example, that the jelly bracelets I worked so to combine in a weblike fashion on my wrist resemble a same-sex relationship? No, he or she does not. When I point this out, the usual response is, "That's not what I mean." Well, if you don't mean it, then don't say it. Say what you mean.

Let me ask you a question: When you play darts do you aim for the floor underneath? No, you aim for the board and most probably, the bullseye.

We should do the same for language. To refer to something you find idiotic as "gay," you then, by association, demean everyone who is LGBT. The reason for this is simple: After Stonewall in 1967, the movement for gay rights sprang into full bloom. Majorities of people fighting against second-class citizenship wanted to pick a word to define the movement as positive, to pull it out of its dark, depressing corner, to help people not feel ashamed of who they are or who they love. It was a bright, shining moment in history. This was the purpose of choosing the word "gay" and having it as a banner for the group Gay Liberation Front. I'm abbreviating history, but I hate writing and want to be succint. For people to now demean a word and a movement that came to mean so much for so many, says two things:

1) It shows how far we have moved away from those militant, fighting-for-civil-rights days. So much so, we are now faced with the same-sex marriage movement being scapegoated for Kerry's losing presidential bid.

2) Homophobia has crept back into the mainstream as legitimate and accepted, even though it is defended as benign attempts at humor or playfulness or economic phraseology.

Therefore, it is up to those of us who believe that same-sex couples deserve the right to marry, that LGBT persons shouldn't be beat to death for whom they choose to love or how they choose to live, that anyone should be able to adopt a child, that everyone should be able to visit his/her partner in the hospital and administer care, to cleanly break with such word usage. You aren't winning anyone over to those positive, forward-thinking causes by making negative, backward-thinking comments. You are only legitimizing hate and institutionalized oppression with which you don't agree.

And if you're not for civil rights, then you are a jackass and you shouldn't be reading my Blog.

Some Jackasses On the Web

Here's the scenario.

My Dad is in the hospital. I wanted to send him some damned flowers. So I resolved to search the web for the address of the hospital, which proved inconclusive. What I did unearth, however, were several Blogs that really sucked. I mean, honestly, they did. Don't believe me? Check this link out (it's the prime example):

Jackass

Unable to send my poor Pop some get-well foliage and deeply disturbed that I was forced to look at that guy's lonesome excuse for a Blog, I felt compelled to begin my own journey into narcissism.

It has to be better. It must be better. Just by sheer force of will. So it begins.