Don't You Know? Only Women Cry...
Sexist Crap About Crying In The Workplace
Readers of this blog are well aware that I am anti-sexism. If not, you should read my earlier post about Barbie.
In any event, the New York Times published a story yesterday about women crying in the workplace. Amongst many of the horribly innacurate assumptions we are supposed to ingest as blind fact is the assertion that men no longer cry in the workplace because they learned 2 centuries ago that it was not to their benefit.
Seriously--what the fuck? Maybe someone should remind the author-posing-as-journalist that evolution does not work that way. Secondly, we only have societal norms because they have been built up by people in power over time and they have the means and authority to reinforce them, right or wrong. Furthermore, the author makes no challenge of the underlying societal and systemic causes of vehement mores against crying in the workplace (and that the criticism is only directed at women) nor does the author even try to find people who could speak in favor of it or from another point of view.
It is well-known scientific fact that crying releases stress, because generating tears releases hormones that alleviate tension. In fact, after a build-up of stress, the body may well try and force you to cry, as a natural autonomic nervous system response. Additionally, it is essential for the vitality of the immune system to cry when stressed, because it flushes out toxins. For any jackasses out there who do not believe me, look it up.
Instead of berating women and men for a natural reaction to stress, maybe we should be pointing fingers at the situations which cause stress or why it is that crying is so taboo under capitalism.
posted by amandla_maypoodell @ 9:40 AM
2 Comments:
social norms & gender roles/stereotypes and the way they function in a person's self-perception are laid bare a lot of times in the lives of trans people.
some folks take on exaggerated forms of what they've seen and experienced in their lives as representing the desired gender as they transition & try to establish an identity.
in a culture so steeped in sexism, then, it's not surprising that some of the most misogynistic assholes i've met have been FTMs.
now, i'm not saying that all FTMs are misogynistic, by any means. i'm just saying that there are some people who see that men aren't supposed to cry, or they perceive a certain stereotypical power relationship between men and women, etc etc etc, and emulate that as they try to establish their identities as men. and as a consequence, get themselves mired in a swamp of oppressive bullshit - probably the same bullshit they watched modeled for them as children 20 or 30 years ago, and continue to watch perpetuated and even advanced throughout society as civil rights and social justice movements continue to roll back.
This American Life (NPR) several months ago did a whole show on testosterone. They had on there one guy who had recently (i dont remember how recently) started to transition, and had started taking testosterone.
they were interviewing him on the effects of testosterone. i guess it had the veneer of science because unless you're considering this cultural stuff, you'd think he would have more or less the same personality before and after starting T, and so he could speak purely to the biological effects of it. ultimately, he went on and on about how much more he liked math now, how little he could control looking at women on the street, and how he couldn't cry anymore.
it made me so angry and sad, because I know that so much of that is cultural, and is ultimately limiting and self-defeating. angry at the show for perpetuating that, angry at society, angry at the liberals "leading" the movements (read: actively disorganizing the movements for the past 30 years), and so sad that this guy and others like him feel they have to immerse themselves in this tar in order to be accepted and safe and genuine.
I know lots of FTM guys who are sweet and not sexist and cry and are struggling to be authentic individuals in this society. It is a step forward that there is a space (however small & precarious & dangerous still) for trans folks in the world, but it is not enough, and the sexism they (and all of us) face every day is absolutely not acceptable.
I like these comments because they take the analysis a step further. I think ducks should have a blog as well, because ducks, clearly, is not a jackass.
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